Family mediation is a process where a trained, neutral mediator helps separating couples reach agreements about children and finances without going to court. In England and Wales, you must attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) before applying to court in most cases.
A MIAM (Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting) is a meeting with a trained family mediator to discuss whether mediation is suitable for your case. It is a legal requirement before filing most family court applications. The mediator will explain the process and assess whether mediation is appropriate. The MIAM typically lasts 1-2 hours and costs £100-£200 per person. During the MIAM, the mediator will explain how mediation works, discuss your situation, and help you understand whether mediation might help you reach an agreement with the other parent.
You are exempt from attending a MIAM if: there is evidence of domestic abuse; the matter is urgent; the other party is overseas; a child is at risk; you have previously attended mediation for the same dispute; or the other party refuses to attend. If you believe an exemption applies, you must provide evidence to the court. Exemptions are taken seriously, and the court will only accept them if properly evidenced.
Mediation typically involves 3-6 sessions of 1-2 hours each. The mediator does not make decisions — they help you communicate and reach your own agreements. Any agreement reached can be made into a consent order by the court. Mediation is confidential, which means what is said in mediation cannot be used in court if mediation fails. This confidentiality encourages open discussion and creative problem-solving. Many couples find mediation less adversarial and less expensive than court proceedings.
MIAM sessions typically cost £100-£200 per person. Full mediation costs £150-£250 per person per session. Legal aid is available for mediation if you qualify. The government's Family Mediation Voucher Scheme provides up to £500 towards mediation costs. If you are on a low income, you may qualify for reduced fees or free mediation. Always ask the mediator about their fee structure and whether they offer discounts for low-income families.
Mediation is typically faster and cheaper than court proceedings. It allows you to maintain control over the outcome rather than leaving decisions to a judge. Mediation can help preserve relationships, which is particularly important when children are involved. Many couples who mediate report higher satisfaction with the outcome than those who go to court. Mediation can also reduce the emotional impact on children by reducing conflict between parents.
Attending a MIAM is compulsory before most court applications, but you cannot be forced to participate in full mediation if you do not wish to.
If the other party refuses to attend a MIAM or mediation, you can proceed to court. The court may take their refusal into account when considering costs.
Mediation agreements are not automatically legally binding, but they can be made into a consent order by the court, which is enforceable.
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